Judging by my past articles, you all should get the hint by now of how to get going in the career world. Between interview tips, time management skills, resume preparation blah blah blah… it’s time to mix it up a bit.

Let’s talk about how to lose a job in ten days!

Who Says You Gotta Look Snazzy 24/7?

Whoever says looking professional every day for a job obviously don’t know what it’s like to sleep in! Try setting multiple alarm clocks and waking up at the last one. I’m talking about ten minutes before you are due to arrive. Just run your fingers through your hair and spray some deodorant on. Outfit wise? No problem. Just rummage through your laundry hamper and find a T-Shirt and sweats to stay comfy in!

Don’t Take S%*& From ANYONE (Especially Your Boss)

Is your boss working up the nerve to tell you what to do again? Don’t just take it like a wimp, curse that b%*& out! Tell them you are not here to take orders and you follow to the beat of your own drum. Because who knows better than an employee who doesn’t run a business? I mean, at the end of the day what’s more important? Keeping a job… or your dignity?

Take a Sick Day (or Multiple)

Whether if it’s the Monday blues, a scorching hangover, or just feeling lazy, don’t hesitate to call out sick. You might as well take a few days per week until you feel 110% ready to face the day. Heck, giving a 20 minute notice before your due at work is pretty much the norm, right? Remember it’s YOUR world, everyone else just revolves around it.

Stir the Pot a Little

There’s no better way to waste people’s time than with some juicy drama. If you really wanna get under people’s skin, start a rumor that isn’t even true! “Hey, did you hear Stacy slept with the CEO to get that promotion?” See, it’s that simple. Just target someone who’s ahead of you in the business and do some major plastic sabotage! (Mean Girls reference).

Spend the Hours Watching YouTube

Just because you’re on the clock doesn’t mean you actually have to DO work… yuck. Take out your iPhone and put on some funny cat videos. That will make the day go by quicker! Then go tell others to hurry up their work so they can watch some videos with you.

Take Phone Calls

Is your BFF getting those first date jitters? Call her during your work hours to show her you really care! Make sure you stay on the phone with her just in case she needs you. Your boss will understand, hopefully. But then again, your friend is more important anyway.

Take Extra Long Lunch Hours

Your boss knows a person’s gotta eat, but take advantage of that free time! Go see that movie you keep hearing about. You only get one lunch break a day, ENJOY it. If your boss says anything, invite them to the movie with you to make up for missing hours… or slip them a crisp $20 bill. I mean, who can put a time limit on lunch?!

Complain

Adulting can be rough, sometimes a person just needs to vent. From having to work a 9AM-5PM 5-days a week to constantly hearing that annoying sound the vending machine makes, express your anger. In fact, complain to anyone who is near you about the same thing over and over again so they know why you are upset. If anyone tries to give solutions, ignore them at all costs. Listening to the sound of your own voice can help anyone feel better.

End Game

If you want to lose a job, these are the best ways to go about it. However, if you’re ready to hustle and make an impact in the industry check out these tips on how to be successful.